I ran into an old friend yesterday who told me that she reads Momastery everyday and loves it. She said, thank you so much for writing it. And I said, You are so welcome instead of squirming and making up a million reasons to reject her gratitude. Learning how to gracefully accept criticism and compliments is hard, but I'm trying.
Then she said the following:
Do you ever worry that you might share too much? Do you worry that when it's time to go back to work, no one will hire you because of your festive past?
Huh. Hm. Nope. Never worried about that.
I rushed home and yelled up the stairs:
HUSBAND! Do you ever worry that when it's time for me to go back to work, no one will hire me because I've told the world all about my festive past?
Husband: I mean, I've considered it.
Me: Why didn't you ever mention anything to me?
Husband: It was too late.
Me: Oh.
Hm.
It seems, Monkees, that I may have rendered myself eternally unemployable here.
And I just have one thing to say about this.
ARE THE UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS THAT RESULT FROM THIS LITTLE BLOG JUST NEVER-ENDING???????
I could just die of excitement. I might write about a few things I haven't even done just to seal the deal.
Retired! Retired! Forever retired!!! Yoga pants 4-ever!!!
Joy.
Love,
G
HAHAHA Congrats on your retirement, Glennon!!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to get you a LuLu Lemon gift card for your retirement. Don't thank me, I just want more people wearing yoga pants daily so I feel less dressed-down.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the morning laugh:)
ReplyDeleteAmen Sista! I am so with you!
ReplyDeleteOh, please! If teacher is out, just based on your first ever Momastery post alone, there are plenty of things you could do on a consultant basis. Like:
ReplyDelete~pet sitter
~tv salesperson
~lawyer/judge/jury
~baby namer
~shoe detective
~barista
Ok, I jest.
But in all seriousness, Glennon, you have your writing. It would sell, not inspite of you saying too much but because of it. However, if you are really striving for a life of yoga pants, we can all just promise not to be a reference for you on your resume ;)
Love you girl!
"back to work"???? You are Mom...doing the most important job in the world! Sorry to burst your bubble. No retirement for you :) The good news is that yoga pants are the required uniform at your current place of employment!
ReplyDeleteha!
ReplyDeleteLove the surprise ending!
ReplyDeleteMe to Craig: I'm in charge of bringing a fruit platter to Tish's preschool party today.
ReplyDeleteTish (from the family room): OH NOOOOO!
Me: What??
Tish: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CUT?
Congratulations! I am jealous and I've only got 5 years of work under my belt.
ReplyDeleteCan we get an update on Kathleen and Mandy's adventures? How many days left on the paper chain?
Oh I needed that laugh this morning. Who are you kidding! You work very hard. Plus, think of how hard you will be working when you are writing your books, being interviewed by the likes of Oprah, and traveling around doing speeches and book signings. Mind you, you will be famous, so you can still wear yoga pants and people will just think you are eccentric and want to emulate you. Quick! Go buy stock in yoga pants!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though. A friend of mine got raped yesterday. I am not ok. I am far from ok. And if I'm not ok, she is certainly not ok. I just want to sit on this blog today and absorb some monkee love and hugs. But I have to go and take kids to school and shop and move through my day like I am not screaming inside.
I just know it's going to be a weeping in public day again.
Is swearing allowed?
Are there any Monkees on the west coast of Canada?
Ok, off to try and hold it together.
Tova
Tova,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. Much prayers and love to your friend and to you as well. Hang out here and hang in there - she's gonna need you.
YOGA PANTS are better than any job! But, seriously anyone that wouldn't hire you b/c of your writing here is someone you wouldn't want to work for anyway! So, THERE! ;-)
ReplyDelete--
Oh - Tova, that is awful news. I'm so so sorry for your friend. We will do our best to lift you up so you can be a support to your friend. As Jeanette said she is going to need you now and forever. Sending lots of love and tight, long hugs.
Tovie.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about how brutal and unfair life can be.
So sorry.
Love To You and Your Friend.
G
Just sick for your friend Tova. Keeping you and her in my heart and prayers right now. The world is an ugly place sometimes and there is no shame in hiding out in the Momastery for a little refueling of goodness. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteWell, you could always move to Roanoke and make cupcakes for me :) Or maybe be the delivery person or taste tester! Cupcakes need festive people!
ReplyDeleteLove to your friend Tova. I want to scream for every victim in the world. There is nothing more terrible.
Abbey B.
I am a new reader and just want to say thanks for writing such an entertaining blog! I am a strong believer, as a Christian, that we are not perfect and that everyone should show their flaws and not project a life of perfection! Thank you for doing that for so many! Can't wait to follow you and keep up with your beautiful family!
ReplyDeleteYour newest Monkee! (delangelfamily.blogspot.com)
Tova,
ReplyDeletethere are just no words for that kind of tragedy, so instead, i'll share some tears and try to help you carry a piece of your suffering and pray for a silver lining.
So much love to you and your friend,
-MaryAnn
Praying for your friend, Tova. And for you. Thanks G for a good laugh (hooray for yoga pants!) and a place where we can laugh, cry and swear. Sometimes all at once.
ReplyDeleteSaying a prayer, Tova, for strength for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteMK
Tova-- wish I were closer right now. I will pray for peace and strength for you and your friend. And that there is redemption, even in this terrible event.
ReplyDeleteHey G-- I had to confirm some insurance paperwork at a doctor's office. I was listed as "retired" on their database. I found that funny, but not as funny as the clerk deciding to update my status to be "homemaker."
Thanks Monkees.
ReplyDeleteI'm home, tucked up in front of the fire with tea. And I have written about this on my blog. I only bring this up to ask if you might consider leaving a comment there for her.
Love,
Tova
wholetthishappen.wordpress.com
Just misspell your name on your resume so when they google you they can't find you. Glingon? Glongon? Lemon?
ReplyDeleteMuch love to your friend, Tova.
Oh silly Glennon, you will be hired, someday, because of this blog as opposed to not being hire-able. Until then, enjoy your retirement! Smiles!
ReplyDeleteTova, my heart goes out to you and your friend.
Love it Glennon.
ReplyDeleteTova - will say a prayer for your friend tonight before my head hits the pillow. ((hugs))
Where to begin....
ReplyDeleteFirst to Tova, my heart just hurts for your friend and for you. Sending lots of love and prayers y'alls way.
Second to Glennon and the Monkees, I am so thankful that Colleen shared Momastery with me. I knew I needed to take time to be quiet, to reflect, and to refuel, but hadn't taken the time to start. Colleen told me to check y'all out, and I found my place! I love the honesty, love, and support here! The world can be such a busy, unfriendly place that it is refreshing to find a truly good place. So happy to be a Monkee now!
Glennon, my husband told me he wouldn't change anything in my past because every choice I made good or bad had led me to him. Just a thought. We had to do all that stuff to be who we are today. Just a thought.
One day I will fully introduce myself to y'all, but for now I have a 4 year old who has been patiently waiting for me to trace her hands:)
Love all of you to pieces!!!!
Rolling here!! So funny, G!!! Keeping typing the truth....it will seal the retirement deal. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteTova - I am so very sorry. I will pray for a lifetime of recovery and healing for your friend. It is a difficult healing process, but the wounds do mend. Sending you lots of love and prayers as well, for comfort and strength to get through the reality of this nightmare and be the loving and supportive friend I know you are, to help her get through this too.
ReplyDeleteG - Happy Early Retirement! This means you have way more time for writing, lattes and pre-school fruit salads.
This is hilarious! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteYay!!!! My past isn't even very festive, but I'll gladly retire and wear yoga pants w/ you. Of course, I don't look great in yoga pants, so will fleece do?
ReplyDeleteGlennon, you will not have to "work" the traditinal way (i.e. office or whatever). Your hard word is at home with your family; and that book deal that is going to make you millions! (Guys, I know of no book deal, I'm just sayin'....I'm waiting for a book).
ReplyDeleteTova, hugs and healing to your friend. That happened to me at 16. I wish I had told someone. Stay by her side. Hope she gets counseling.
I love this post!! Perfect.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog from your wonderful incourage post and this post is hilarious and sooooo me!! My hubby just realized that when I start homeschooling next year, I will be unable to go back to work for many, many years. Yes!!
ReplyDelete