GIVEAWAY FRIDAY!

Sue Ann is a special Monkee who, as a labor of love, sells beautiful, Monkee-ish jewelry.

Here is a little note from Sue Ann:

I, like many of the Monkees, was introduced to Momastery through a friend. It quickly became my place to go for a soft place to land, where I could relate and where I fit in. I didn't have to worry about what I was wearing, how my kids behave, what activities those kids are in or how my house looks. It's great to have a place to go where there are no expectations, where the only requirement is to be kind. Momastery and the Monkees are just for me. That is how I feel about starting my home business--it's something that's just for me. I am learning things about myself and stretching beyond my comfort zone! I can do hard things, while trying really hard not to be a jerk!!

Sue Ann has offered to give away two special pieces from her "Compelling Creations" line to two lucky Monkees.

Here is the boomerang, which I think is wonderful. Because love is a boomerang, I'm pretty sure of that. Sometimes, however, it can feel a lot like a boomerang-to-the-face. But still, it's a good symbol for this place. We offer comfort and receive it.

Sue Ann would like a Commenter today to receive this one. Comment away, Lovies.

This next one is the charm that I should get soldered to my forehead. It's for the Monkee who needs to remember that the world will continue to spin if she lays down for a spell. It's for the Monkee who needs to remember, as one wise friend tells me again and again...that all is well and has always been well and will always, always be well.

This one will go to a New Follower who registers between now and Sunday evening, when the winners will be chosen randomly. Good Luck!

To see more of Sue Ann's beautiful jewelry, visit her at www.compelling-creations.com/sueannoltman.

Shop away, Sue Ann has graciously offered to donate 10% of Monkee proceeds to the Monkee orphan fund.

Have a wonderful Weekend, Friends.

Beauty Collection Day

We Are the Decisive Element

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or dehumanized.
If we treat someone as the limited person they think they are, we support their sense of limitation.
If we treat people as who they could be, we help them become all that they are capable of becoming.

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Second Giveaway Day Tomorrow!!!!

Up in Arms

I’m planning to visit Sister in Rwanda soon. So I’ve been spending lots of time trying to convince Craig that it’ll be a perfectly safe trip, mostly by making up stories and statistics that I've “read recently.” This is how I prepare most of my opening arguments. When I wanted to get pregnant with Amma, I told Craig that I “read recently” that couples with three children are statistically likely to become filthy rich and also make out ridiculously often. Welcome, Amma!

So I was Skyping with Sister the other day and she mentioned that she was exhausted because she’d spent the whole day interviewing potential guards for her new Rwandan home.

At dinner that night I said to Craig, "Honey, strangest thing. I just read that Rwanda was recently listed on Forbes’ Safest Places for Women to Visit Alone In The Whole Wide World list! Isn't that great news?” Then I told him about how tired Sister was from all the guard hiring.

Craig ignored the exciting fake Forbes news and said, “Hon, If Rwanda is so safe, why does Sister need to hire a guard?”

Drat.

I ran upstairs after dinner, Skyped Sister back and said, “HEY! If Rwanda is so safe why do you need to hire a guard, anyway??”

Sister said, “Well, there’s really no violent crime here, but there is theft, so every compound has a guard on the premises so the house never appears vacant. But it’s mostly for show. The guards don’t even have arms.”

Kay.

Now over the past few months I have learned that there is a lot about Africa that I just don’t understand. And I have finally accepted the fact that just because something doesn’t make sense to me, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t make sense. And so I keep my mouth shut a lot. But I draw the line at armless guards.

“SISTER, WHAT THE HELL? WHAT is your lovely guard going to do if someone DOES try to break in? Bite him? Kick him? Give him a really dirty look? Why don’t you just guard yourself, Sister? At least you have ARMS!!”

Sister was very quiet for a moment.

Then she said slowly. “Um. I meant guns, Sister. The guards do have actual arms, they just don’t carry guns.”

My turn to be a little quiet.

Oh, I said. Ohhhh. Right. I thought maybe it was some sort of “armless affirmative action” program. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, Sister. I mean, if that were the case, I would totally support that program.

I know you would, G, said Sister. I know you would.

Apology, It's About Time...A Guest Post from Mike and Megan

Thank you for giving us the time we needed to find our storyline again and pick it up where we left off.

During the excitement of telling our story and getting the response we did from you, we somehow forgot everything we had just learned. That doing hard things, things of consequence, is never done on our terms and schedule.

Instead we set off to make getting involved easy, to make it just one-click to making a difference. We wanted to make sure that you got to see the results quickly, received your tax deduction, weren’t offended by the core mission of the orphanage, weren’t distrustful of those collecting money, while at the same time helping GSF in a way that was actually helpful. We were exhausted before we even got started.

Because helping in a way that is actually helpful is often hard, uncomfortable, illogical, and never quick.

Please forgive us for getting caught up in the excitement and not thinking it through, for underestimating the effort and for forgetting that making hard things easy is a stinkin full time job, and we both have full time jobs and some kids that need us to cross the “T”s and dot the “I”s to get them home.

So we need to step out of the orchestration business and ask you to use the processes already put in place by GSF.www.goodshepherdsfold.org

Email us (hopemafia@gmail.com) to get our address if you have materials already collected and we’ll get it there. Thanks for those that have already done so.

We want to thank all of you for your understanding and grace as we’ve sorted this out behind the scenes. It has been an extremely hard and humbling decision to make but one we feel good about. If you’ll still have us, we’d love to introduce you to our kids when the time is right.

-Mike and Megan

***************************

Monkees, G here.

So. To be clear, there will be no official partnership between Momastery and GSF, but you are welcome to donate individually and send what you’ve already collected to M &M. And Mike and Megan, we will still have you, absolutely. Everything you wrote was true. We love you two. You're right, this is hard stuff.

Monkees- I have spent much of the past month trying to prepare this service project for you. I have cried, lost sleep and prayed exasperated prayers. I have run into wall after wall, and like Ms. Pac Man, I’ve turned around and chomped full bore in a different direction. I’ve flailed about. That’s what I do, I flail about. I stress, I worry, I panic. Even though I encourage you all not to. Because I believe in service, and I believe in you. Because I cherish your enthusiasm and courage and generosity and confidence in me. Because I really, really don’t want to let any of my dancing partners down. And mostly because I always forget that I am Not In Charge.

I always expect that when I jump up and say HERE I AM, God will respond: Oh YAY! There you are! How wonderful of you! You look so CUTE! Come right on in and help!”

But He doesn’t. Ever. Instead He says in a million different ways: “Are you sure? Are you really sure?”

Ask anyone who’s tried to start a non-profit. Or tried to adopt. Or tried to teach. Or answered the call to serve others in any capacity. Ask Mary, who must’ve been thinking…A DONKEY, REALLY? NO ROOM AT THE INN? Are you KIDDING ME? I don’t know why it’s so hard to do what He asks us to do, it just is.

It seems especially hard when you’re trying to work with children. I think maybe He loves those little ones so much that He doesn’t let anyone near them until He’s positive that her heart is in the right place. Until she's ready. Until she's been tested. And I think He might be telling me that my heart has some more preparing to do.

Don’t get me wrong, Monkees. I’m not giving up. Quite the contrary. I am mind-numbingly stubborn. But this journey requires some serious humility. And it appears that right now I’ve got a hell of a lot more learning than teaching to do. I have been schooled this past few weeks. And I’ve got a hunch I’ve only just begun my education. I’m like in service preschool. I keep thinking of U2's line....If you wanna kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel.....

The good news is, I know a few things I didn’t know a month ago.

I know that my heart is in Rwanda, with my Sister. Rwanda is where my service project is. That’s where my partner is. I'm not taking another step unless it leads there. So that’s good information.

But this time around I’m taking a much different approach.

I’m going to take my own advice and step back, slow down, and focus up. I’m going to stop worrying and planning. God willing, I am going to visit Rwanda, squeeze my Sister, and meet her new friends. I am going to slowly learn from Sister, who is there now and is a willing partner. And I am going to make you no promises and offer no time-line. I am going to be patient and listen for God and try to elongate my five minute Western attention span. I am going to relax and keep my heart open and get on with life and love the ones in front of me and see what happens.

And I am going to encourage you to do the same. If your heart is on fire to do some good, then do it. Find it. No need to wait for me. There are Calcuttas and Ugandas and Rwandas all around us. God has a place for each of us. Ask Him to clear a path for you and then follow the bread crumbs.

And if your heart is telling you to wait on Sister and Rwanda and me, well I think that’s wonderful too. I am confident that when the time is right, He’ll gather the people He wants working with us. Whether it’s a hundred Monkees or five, the right people will show up. When it’s Time. And When it's Time, nothing will be done publicly.

And here’s what I really want to do now.

I just want to keep telling you my little stories. I want to keep introducing you to each other, making you laugh and sharing my thoughts about hope and love and faith and big old human hearts. Also, if it’s okay, I’d like to keep writing about my zits and bangs because they’re on my mind a lot, too. And they’ve gotten much, much worse. Just terrible.

I have so much news for you. Not big world changing news, just little family news. I’d like to get back to that for awhile. That’s about all I can do, that’s what I love to do.

I hope that works for you.

Love,

G

P.S. This is Monday's post, it's just up early. Catcha back here on Tuesday. With some funnies.

Beauty Collection Day

The Art of Disappearing

This one goes out to all the Monkees who are have mastered the Here I Am and are working on the Be Still.

And for the record, I have many friends who throw lovely parties and make delicious meatballs. Not at all greasy.

The Art of Disappearing

~ Naomi Shihab Nye

When they say Don't I know you?
say no.

When they invite you to the party
remember what parties are like
before answering.

Someone telling you in a loud voice
they once wrote a poem.
Greasy sausage balls on a paper plate.
Then reply.

If they say We should get together
say why?

It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You're trying to remember something
too important to forget.
Trees. The monastery bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.

When someone recognizes you in a grocery store
nod briefly and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven't seen in ten years
appears at the door,
don't start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Walk around feeling like a leaf.
Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

Congratulations to Cindy and Garima, who won the charms from Friday's give-away. Please send me your addresses, ladies.

The third meeting of the HCBC book club will be held tomorrow...we'll be discussing The Help. Consider these questions...who were your favorite characters and why? With which character do you identify most closely? If you could sum up the message you took away from the book in one or two sentences, what would they be?

Hi Sweet Monkees

We need some more time to get you project information. This is really, really hard. Most things worth doing are, right? Actually, that's just not true. Sitting on the couch and watching HGTV is really easy and also totally worth doing. Also baths. And pedicures. Theory disproved.

Here you go, sisters....

One regret, dear world,
That I am determined not to have
When I am lying on my deathbed
Is that
I did not kiss you enough.

Hafiz

Catch ya back here Monday, lovies. My grandma's in town and I need to spend as much time hugging and kissing her as possible.

Love, G

The Monkee In The Middle

If I speak in the tongue of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I have to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13

Revolutions tend to get busy and loud and so it’s important to periodically huddle the team together, look closely at each other, and remember what all the revolting's about.

Monkees, Huddle Up.

I started this blog because I was desperate for a place where I could relax and tell the truth – a place where I could quit volleying for position and start listening and learning from other women instead. I started this blog to practice loving better. I wanted to get better at loving. Because loving is a skill - a skill that is completely counter-intuitive and needs to be practiced. I started this blog because like me, a lot of women struggle with life, and need shelter from the storm. And I started this blog because I was sad about all the yelling about God. Because I saw the women I knew as a big venn-diagram, each her own hot pink circle of opinions and positions and ideas about faith…. but I detected a sweet spot in the center where all of those individual circles overlapped. And that spot was love and fear and courage and kindness. And I thought, maybe if we made that sweet spot our daily meeting place, it would change things for us. Maybe we’d remember that people are doing the best they can. That we’re okay, each and every one of us. That the time it takes to take care of each other is time well spent.

And it’s happening. People are loving each other well here. And when extraordinary love is created, it can’t be contained. It explodes and pours out into the world.

After all this time,

The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.”

Look what happens with a love like that.

It lights up the whole sky.

Hafiz

And so the love at Momastery seems to be shining and overflowing and causing some Monkees to feel inspired and empowered and ready to run out and change the world. And this is good, it’s gotta be. It’s why they say love is the most powerful force in the world. If you want to see a person explode into a million beams of light and warm up everything around her, remind her, as many times as it takes, of how beloved she is.

And did you get what

you wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved. To feel myself

beloved on this Earth.

Raymond Carver

Some Monkees have recently identified a noble cause that we are interested in exploring. Helping orphans, Serving the poor. This is wonderful, and yet tricky. Because the primary point of The Revolution is slowing down, telling the truth, and loving each other without agenda. Service work, though noble, is still an agenda.

Have you ever known someone who had a very noble cause but talked to you about it in a way that made your skin crawl? I have. And I’ve thought a lot about why that is. I think it’s because the moment someone’s cause becomes more important than the person in front of her, her cause is lost.

There’s a story in the Bible in which Mary, a friend of Jesus', pours an expensive bottle of perfume all over his hair and feet to show Jesus how much she loves him. This was shocking because, well, people didn’t just go around doing that. I mean, awkward. And also because this bottle of perfume was worth a whole lot of money.

Jesus’ disciples got fired up about the extravagance of the perfume pour and may have accidentally gotten a bit self-righteous. They said something like, “Hey Lady! Why did you do that? What a waste! You could have sold that perfume and given all the money to the poor!”

And Jesus said something weird. He said, “The poor will always be with you, but you will not always have me. This woman has done a wonderful thing.”

Now your guess is as good as mine on what he meant. But I have a hunch that one of the many things he was suggesting was this: stay in the moment. Love the one in front of you, because this moment, with this person, will never pass your way again. Don’t hold back. Spend it all. Don’t trip over the person in front of you to get to someone you’ve decided needs love more. We all need extraordinary love. Every last one of us. Because we are all poor, in one way or another. Mother Teresa said “the greatest poverty is loneliness.” So we fight poverty every time we see the person in front of us as a child of God, worthy of all we have, instead of a stumbling block to a different person, a more important moment. We don’t have to save up love because God fills us with more and more each time we empty ourselves. If we concentrate on loving the one in front of us, one person at a time, we can’t go wrong. And we avoid pride. So that’s our cause. The person in front of us, always.

So we try not to be jerks first, and save the world that way, one person at a time. I am starting to think that not being a jerk just means loving people the best we can, one at a time. Loving each moment the best we can, one at a time.

And so some of us will continue on with the project, keeping in mind that the people here are not means to that end.

Two more things.

1. There are a lot of Monkees who need a service project right now like they need a hole in their Caravan tire. They have come here to rest and they feel like they're getting the old bait and switch. Like Tova did on Giveaway day, they want to say in response to the service project posts… “I ALREADY DID HARD THINGS, DAMNIT!” I get it. I really do. There are Monkees who are dying to jump and Monkees who are dying to lie down. Everyone should feel free to do what she is dying to do. We all know that saying No can be as revolutionary as saying Yes.

2. Also, the Great Shepard Fold in Uganda is as Christian as the day is long. I understand completely that this will be problematic for some Monkees. Please accept my sincere apologies about that. When I emailed the brilliant Ginger Fox, panicked about how some Monkees would feel about this, she said: "I don't think it'll be that big of a deal. Just tell the Monkees it might not be the best place to donate their kids' old Black Sabbath onesies."

So maybe we could take her lead and just keep our sense of humor.

Tomorrow Mike and Megan will be back. With so much exciting news. And with more ways to get activated immediately, if you’d like. Love the ones in front of you extraordinarily.

LOVE, G

Handing You My Heart...A Guest Post, From Tova

Monkees, I love this woman.

The first time I ever heard from Tova, she wrote me an email that said:

Dear Glennon,

I read your blog. You irritate me.

And then she added several other fantastic things.

That email was the odd, honest beginning of a special friendship.

Now Monkees, we've proven we can talk honestly about sex, faith, and money...but if we can talk honestly about jealousy too...I'm really gonna start thinking we're on to something here.

Monkees, meet . . Our Tova.

Tova made me promise I'd ask you to look really hard into the flower, so you wouldn't miss the little snail, eating it's way out.

I first found Momastery off of someone else's blog. An adoption blog. Being an adoptive mama, those are pretty much the only blogs I look at. I was captivated by Glennon's writing. Her honesty, candor and skill at writing out the things that most of us feel or experience but can't articulate. But I was also majorly irritated. Like big time. I would read for a bit and then snap the computer off and stomp off to be grumpy on someone. I would come back to read, and experience the same thing. Finally, after a couple of 2 am tossings and turnings, I finally emailed Glennon and told her how I felt. Somehow, just saying that I was irritated with her blog but couldn't stay away seemed to allow me to put the irritation down and see it for what it was: jealousy.

The ugly feeling jealousy. I was appalled at myself. I mean, hadn't I learned to give that emotion up years ago? Hadn't I made myself a good enough person to not have that feeling anymore? Wasn't I mature enough? Surely, we lose some of our flaws as we get older?

Nope. Apparently not. I was surprised at how I had masked it in irritation. Very clever of my brain and emotions. Sneaky even. I hate jealousy. I have lost friendships over jealousy. Jealousy is not something I want to experience.

So I told Glennon, "I am jealous of you." and immediately felt better. My punishment? It appears I am to write about it to all of you. :)

It's easy to feel jealous of Glennon. She has supportive and active parents. She has a gorgeous husband who seems to not only love her, but like her. She has gorgeous children that don't sound horrid. She lives in a beautiful place. A place that I would love to go on holiday to. She has a successful blog that she could be making money at if she wanted too. She has built a whole community of women who support each other, love each other, listen and care. My first thought when I read about Monkees was "CULT" and then my next thought was, "cliquey, bitchy, women making yet another group I won't fit into." But I couldn't stop there, because the evidence spoke to the contrary. No one seemed brainwashed, or bitchy (at least not out of my normal) and you all seemed to be genuinely open and caring. Trying so hard to hear each other and understand each others perspectives. To love openly and honestly.

My next impulse was to run away. Again. Not because I had any more reasons to leave you, but because why would you all want me? The person who was jealous and didn't know it? The person who was quick to judge and slow to hear? Nope, you guys wouldn't want someone imperfect like me. And again, the evidence was contrary. You weren't perfect and you didn't try to convince anyone that you were. No one was trying to pretend that they were what they weren't.

I was out of reasons, so here I am. Imperfect, judgmental, opinionated, capable of jealousy and deeply insecure that if you find out all my flaws I will get escorted from the blog premises. I am trying to take a deep breath, slow down, and not be afraid of a group. That is very hard for me. All the fibers of my body and mind tell me 'Run away before you get hurt!' But I am choosing to stick around. Sit down, drink a cup of tea, risk sharing my opinions and thoughts, and see where it goes. Wish me luck!

Groovin'

The skinny on the family is . . . we're happy. We're finding our groove in our new town.

Saturday, we went to the local farmer's market to pet dogs and buy apples and veggies. While we were there, we learned about this interesting politician. Supposedly, she is a true visionary.

Later, we played in a field.

I looked at this guy a lot. I like him.

Really, really, a whole lot.

Bubba took us to the local Turkey Shoot. No turkeys were actually shot, thank goodness. We were all kinda nervous about that.

Turkeys or not, shooting things is loud.

After all the shooting, we went to a backyard party at Bubba's friend's house. This is her backyard.

Right after this next picture was taken, we gave Chase a bottle of Evian and begged him to change it to wine. No such luck.

Bubba and Amma: Two peas in a pod.

Sunday, I spent the day with my Dana and my Christy. Which meant that Craig spent his day alone with the kids, remembering how desperately he needs me.

Yife is good.

P.S. Kristi used a random number generator to pick the winners of the "we can do hard things" sign give-away. The winners are.....New Follower- Jen M. and Commenter...Kelly! Congratulations! Please email your addresses to me at momastery(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll send them on to Kristi!

Monkee Project update on its way later this week. Slow and steady.